The semester is ending and I am still a year and a half away from an Associates. Between school and the part time job to pay for school, and the down time spent relaxing from them, I have not been able to make a clear cut path for what I want to do when school is over. There are a few things that I know I want.
1) I want to be a writer.
2) I want to be a father.
3) I want to be healthy enough to enjoy both.
To be a writer I need.
1) To write complete works.
2) Maintain Creativity.
3) Learn the best way to introduce the information, so that it conveys the message or tells the story; in a way that will be appealing to publishers.
To be a father I need.
1) To find, gain the favor of and live with a female.
2) Maintain a relationship throughout the birthing of the child.
3) Be there while the child grows up.
To be healthy to enjoy both.
1) Maintain the basic necessities, and limit excess.
2) Set and hold Goals.
3) Listen to my own advice.
Written down on the page it does not look like much, but the rest of the world, the things that I am passing up, the things that interject into the day, the simple fact of figuring which goal is more important when. Maybe I should restate what I want to be with more adjectives.
1) I want to be the a writer, who's books are on the night stand of millions.
2) I want to be the best father, one that is far superior then I can even currently imagine.
3) I want to be healthy enough to enjoy it, be able to take in every moment and savor every last detail. The good, the bad and the horrible tragedies of it all.
To be a writer.
1) My books need to develop characters and plots that speak to people
2) The books have to be written in a way that publishers will be drawn to them and readers will fall in love with them
3) I need to speak with every ounce of myself and create books that hold different meanings for everyone that looks in them.
To be a Father.
1) I need to cut away the right amount of lust, and find the person that loves me for me, and I them for them.
2) I need to be strong and caring, providing and supportive, Positive to Positive, Negative to Negative.
3) I need to pay attention, slow down, focus, listen, watch, teach, and know when to let go.
To be Healthy and enjoy it.
1) I need to fall to the passion of the pen, and the lust of the feeling of the keys under my fingers.
2) Feel, accept, understand, continue, rise above.
3) I need to laugh at things that got me mad, love things that made me laugh and cry, dance when my feet want to move, sing when the day has me down.
Now it seems near impossible. I cant imagine I could get myself out of the way long enough to do all of that. How about this,
1) Write and publish books.
2) Get married and have kids.
3) Enjoy it no matter what my health.
There is a bucket list that I can be content with.
-NK
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1 comment:
Hey nka, this is a nice piece, really strong--I like very much how you go up the scale, then down again, playing changes and riffs on a basic theme. Very jazzy.
But never say you want to be a writer. 'I want to write'--always. You get there in the very last iteration.
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